Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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