:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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