I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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