Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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