you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
