come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
