shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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