u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
