They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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