i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
