the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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