I just made out with a guy for $7.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
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btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"