I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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