Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.

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(254): View more from Texas

The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"

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(662): View more from Mississippi

It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?

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(269): View more from Michigan

Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now

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