i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana