wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed