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• (650): View more from California

  i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (641): View more from Iowa

  Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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• (607): View more from New York

  His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.

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• (619): View more from California

  I called you last night? What did I say??

  (707): View more from California

  That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low

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