My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
