Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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