I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
