I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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