OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
operation have a gay friend backfired
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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