im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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