he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
