so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
