i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
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I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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