it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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