How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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