my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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