people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
