i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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