I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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