he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
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You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
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Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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