So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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