My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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