this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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