HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
