this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
