you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
