Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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