Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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