i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Shame is for Republicans.
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