He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
