I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My pussy is not your playground.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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