After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
