Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
