Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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