why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sorry my hands just texted you
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
