I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
