Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
