I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
