I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize