College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Randomize
