The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
