found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize