I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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