There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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