Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
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I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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