Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
