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Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
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