This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!