Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
