Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize