It's like God shit irony all over that family
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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